There's a version of yourself you hide. The angry part. The jealous part. The parts you're embarrassed about. The aspects of yourself you've rejected or suppressed because they don't fit your image.

Carl Jung called this the "shadow self." And he discovered something powerful: The parts of yourself you reject and hide actually have the most power over you.

The traits you deny and suppress don't disappear. They leak out in unexpected ways. They influence your choices. They create internal conflict. They sabotage your relationships.

But there's a way to reclaim this power: shadow work journaling.

Shadow work is intentional journaling about the parts of yourself you'd rather not see. It sounds uncomfortable (and honestly, it is). But the healing on the other side is profound.

What Is Shadow Work?

Your psyche has two parts:

• The Light Self: The parts you show the world. The qualities you're proud of. "I'm a good listener. I'm kind. I'm responsible."
• The Shadow Self: The parts you hide. The qualities you're ashamed of or judge in yourself. "I'm selfish. I'm lazy. I'm jealous. I can be cruel."

The problem: You can't selectively hide parts of yourself. If you suppress your "selfishness," you also suppress your ability to advocate for your own needs. If you hide your "anger," you also hide your healthy assertiveness.

Shadow work is the process of integrating these hidden parts. Not acting on every impulse. But acknowledging these parts exist, understanding why you hid them, and reclaiming their power for good.

Why Shadow Work Matters

You Can't Change What You Don't Acknowledge

If you pretend your jealousy doesn't exist, you can't examine it. It will leak out through passive-aggressive comments or sabotage.

If you acknowledge it ("I feel jealous when my friend talks about her success"), you can examine it. Where does it come from? Is it pointing to an unfulfilled goal of yours? Can you transform that energy into motivation?

Resentment Comes From Repressed Traits

Research in psychology shows that we often resent in others what we deny in ourselves.

You hate it when someone is selfish? Maybe you're denying your own legitimate needs. You judge someone for being needy? Maybe you're suppressing your own need for connection.

The people who irritate you most are often showing you your shadow.

Integration Creates Wholeness

The goal of shadow work isn't to become "good" or "perfect." It's to become whole.

When you integrate your shadow, you're no longer at war with yourself. You have access to all your emotions and qualities—the "good" and the "bad." You can use them consciously instead of having them use you.

How to Do Shadow Work Journaling Safely

Shadow work can stir up intense emotions. Here's how to do it safely:

Step 1: Create a Safe Space

Before diving in, make sure you're in a place where you can feel vulnerable.

• Quiet, private space where you won't be interrupted
• Set a time limit (15-20 minutes, not an open-ended session)
• Have tissues nearby (yes, you might cry)
• Consider lighting a candle or playing soft music
• Maybe journal right after a calming activity (meditation, exercise, tea)

Step 2: Start with Mild Shadows, Not Deep Wounds

Don't dive straight into your most painful trauma. Start with milder shadow traits.

Not: "Why did my parent's abandonment destroy me?" But: "I notice I get defensive when someone critiques my work. Where does that defensiveness come from?"

As you build capacity, you can go deeper.

Step 3: Use Prompts (Don't Free-Write Into Chaos)

Structure helps. Here are prompts to get started:

For Basic Shadow Work:

1. "What emotions do I feel most uncomfortable expressing? Why?"
2. "What traits do I most dislike in other people?" (These often point to your shadow.)
3. "What part of myself do I keep hidden, even from close friends?"
4. "When did I first learn to hide this part of myself?"
5. "What would it feel like to accept this part of myself?"

For Deeper Work:

6. "What do I judge myself for that I also see in [person I resent]?"
7. "If I stopped fighting against [shadow trait], what might happen?"
8. "How has this shadow trait protected me in the past?"
9. "What gift might this shadow trait contain?"

Step 4: Write Without Judgment

The goal is not to make yourself feel better. It's to be honest.

Write what's true, even if it's ugly.

"I'm jealous of my sister's success. I secretly hope she fails. I feel ashamed of this, and I hate myself for it."

Don't soften it. Don't explain it away. Just write it.

Step 5: Look for the Gift

After acknowledging your shadow trait, ask: "What's the gift in this?"

Jealousy might point to an unfulfilled ambition. Anger might point to a boundary you need to set. Selfishness might point to needs you're neglecting. Neediness might point to your capacity for connection.

The shadow trait isn't good or bad. It's information. It's pointing to something you need to pay attention to.

Step 6: Self-Compassion

End with compassion for yourself.

"I have this shadow trait. So does everyone. It makes sense that I have it, given my history. I'm not bad for having it. I'm human. And I can work with it."

Common Shadow Traits and What They Reveal

Shadow Trait	Possible Meaning
Jealousy	Unfulfilled goals or needs for recognition
Anger	Boundaries being violated or needs not being met
Neediness	Valid need for connection; you've learned not to trust it
Laziness	You're doing things that don't align with your values
Selfish impulses	You're neglecting your own legitimate needs
Judgment of others	You're denying these traits in yourself
Fear of conflict	You've learned that your needs don't matter
People-pleasing	You've learned to prioritize others' comfort over your own

Shadow Work + DearDiario

Use DearDiario's distraction-free environment for shadow work. No notifications. No distractions. Just you and your truth.

Tag your shadow work entries (e.g., "#shadowwork") so you can search them later.

As you work with your shadow over months, revisit old entries using DearDiario's smart search. You'll see how your understanding has deepened. This progress is motivating.

When to Seek Professional Help

Shadow work is powerful, but it has limits.

If you're working with:

• Deep trauma
• Suicidal ideation
• Intense flashbacks
• A diagnosed mental health condition

...work with a therapist alongside shadow work. Journaling is a supplement, not a replacement for professional care.

Starting Your Shadow Work Practice

Week 1: Acknowledge. Write about a mild shadow trait without judgment. Just observe it exists.

Week 2: Understand. Ask why you developed this trait. What protected you about hiding it?

Week 3: Integrate. What's the gift in this trait? How could you use it consciously?

Week 4 onward: Deepen. Work with more challenging shadows. Watch your self-awareness deepen.

Use DearDiario's free tier to experiment. Open up. Be honest. The pages don't judge.

The parts of yourself you reject have power. Shadow work reclaims that power and redirects it toward healing and wholeness.